The Queen of Broadway
by PamEargle
Summary: Max Bialystock meets his match.
1. The Eyes Have It

Max Bialystock was once again The King of Broadway. He had the world at his chubby little fingertips, but everything he wanted was everything he had. Leopold Bloom and his wife Ulla were the best friends any man could ask for. He just signed on the dotted line for his dream apartment on Park Avenue in New York City, his beloved hometown. As he strode down 42nd Street, he passed the B & B Theatre, the finest theatre in the district, one that he owned with Leo. Tipping his fedora hat to a cute blonde who gave his exuberant air a bright smile, he pushed open the door to his office building. Gazing up the four flights of stairs he knew he'd have to climb, he sighed and hung his head.

"Who needs to go to the gym?" he grumbled. "I just gotta go to work to give myself a heart-attack."

Gripping the worn wooden banister, he went much to quickly up the first flight and a half, took the third very slowly and bounded up the last few before turning the key and moving into the small but functional space he loved. No longer an unkempt and shabbily furnished bachelor pad, the large windows let light in on a room that had seen a great transformation. The desk sat in the same spot, but was organized and polished. A new black telephone, a Tiffany Lamp and a big, comfortable red leather chair that served as his throne completed that area of the space. He'd repainted the bathroom and hung fresh monogrammed towels on chrome bars. An enormous red leather couch that matched the chair sat with it's back to the windows. The piano still sat against the wall. He tossed his favorite hat on the new hat-rack and hung his blazer in the closet instead of throwing it wherever it landed.

He had no idea how much time had passed before the door swung open. His head jerked up from his ledger to find Franz Liebkind stumbling over the threshold.

"Max, I have come to rescue you!" he declared, his voice thick with a German accent. He wore his traditional Lederhosen and clunky boots, but did not have a hat on today. His goofy friend always made him smile.

"Rescue me? From what?" Max asked, his own voice thick with the accent of the City and a chuckle. It was only then he realized it was lunch time. The whole morning had flown by. He tossed down his pen and ran his hand through his thick, jet-black hair.

"You und me, ve go eat. Den ve go to the auditions," the Nazi-sympathizer said proudly. "You did not forget zat, ya?"

"Nine, I deed not forget zat," he teased, faking a German accent before standing up and moving from behind the desk. He crossed the room, going behind the couch to close and lock the window.

"Ever since Mr. Leo and Ms. Ulla went to Rio for their anniversary, you have not been yourself. Ja vol?"

The middle-aged man paused mid action. Truth was he missed The Blooms. They were truly his only family. Sure Franz and Roger de Bris and Carmen Giya were like brothers to him, but he always felt incomplete without the younger lanky man and buxom Swedish blonde by his side.

"It's not like I don't have a life," he shrugged, turning from his finished task to his friend. "I have plenty of friends."

"Your life is dat book und dat stage... Ju should try to meet a voman... or at least meet oder peoples... Expand your army."

"Ya think?" he asked, almost to himself.

"Ja," Franz nodded, grinning.

Max furrowed his brow as he settled his hat on his head. "Maybe I'll do that," he nodded. He let Franz go out of the door first before closing and locking it behind them.

After hotdogs and sodas, they headed over to the theatre. The crowd of dancers and singers were excited and did their best, but no one stood out. An hour and a half later, it looked like they would need to set up more times and expand their search for the next big star when a petite brunette stepped out of the wings. Max's heart skipped a beat and then began to race. His eyes widened. Confident and at home on the large, empty stage, she swept to the apron. She let her eyes drift from Roger to Carmen to Franz as a smile grew across her lips. Then her eyes met Max's. She froze as her heart skipped a beat and than began to race.


	2. Yes or No

Shiri adjusted her bag on her shoulder and strolled along 42ND street, her mind on Max instead of how well her audition had gone. She knew he couldn't give her a part just because he liked her.

And she didn't want to to end up on his casting couch and given the hook after the show was done.

She didn't KNOW him, but she knew his name, reputation and she'd heard all the stories. That didn't mean any of it was true... or that he hadn't changed.

No matter how much she wanted to think otherwise, he was a producer, she was a chorus girl, she shrugged to herself.

* * *

Shiri Goldstein. Jewish, he thought. Her first name literally meant "I have song." Her last name meant "I have money." Or at least her family did.

He kept looking back down at her head-shot and resume. Max knew she wouldn't want the stigma of being in the show just because they made goo-goo eyes at each other. He knew she knew his reputation. In his defense, he was only doing what every Broadway Producer did in one way or another.

He scratched the back of his head and tried to refocus. But it all went back to her.

Both of them felt the sparks that instantly ignited between them, but they both knew that it couldn't happen. Not now.

There were pros and cons to it all. Nearly no couple ever did a show together again. That was sad because the love of theatre was what brought them together. It happened and sometimes it even worked... but it was never smiled upon.

The funny thing was... even though they had just met, both felt the other had become the same pessimistic person they themselves had become. It felt like they had known each other forever.

After being so happy-go-lucky and optimistic, putting their hopes and dreams in the hands of Fate, they'd come to a road block in the natural progression of their lives.

There was no such thing as love at first sight, he shrugged to himself.

* * *

The next morning, as he sat behind his desk, he decided that he'd offer her a role and ignore the rest. She was too good to not have in the musical. She'd get to know him better and run away screaming like all the other women he'd tried to build a relationship with had. He wanted love, but it was better to NOT go through the pain.

He'd watched Leo and Ulla fall in love. He loved them like a brother and sister. They had each other.

He had... no one.

Roger and Carmen had each other, too.

Franz had his pigeons.

He had... his scripts and his fedora...

He wanted so much more. He wanted something with Shiri.

* * *

She laid in bed and sighed deeply. She decided that if she was offered a part in the show, she'd take it. She decided if he didn't give her a role, she'd ask him out.

Or maybe not.

Smiling, she hopped out of bed and began to get ready for the day.

She was just about to sit down to her bagel and locks breakfast when her phone rang.


	3. Fate

When he heard her lyrical voice answer, he cleared his throat ceremoniously. "It's Max Bialystock. We met yesterday?" was all he could get out.

Shiri didn't know if the butterflies in her half-empty tummy were because of the professional ramifications of the call or the mere sound of his melodic tenor voice. "We didn't meet, Mr. Bialystock, I auditioned for you. BIG difference," she said curtly, on the defensive for no reason. She didn't mean that the way it sounded. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry... I haven't had my second cup of coffee yet," she offered, a smile in her voice now.

He could see that smile. "It's alright..." he said gently. "Did I catch you at a bad time?_" _he asked... Am I interrupting something with your husband? he thought.

"No... No... I was just eating breakfast.

Silence. Neither knew what to say next.

"Say, um... I just wanted to let you know that I'd love to see you again..." Pause. He slapped his left hand to his forehead. Now it was HIS turn to back-peddle. "What I mean is... I'd love to have you in the show."

"Thank you!" she said, trying to keep calm for more than reason. "I'd love to be a part of it. I think it could be a huge hit."

"My partner gets back next week. We'll hold the callbacks and have the papers ready then. I'll... call with the details later," he explained.

"OK..." she managed.

It was now quite obvious to both of them that they were feeling and thinking the same things, they weren't imagining it.

"You... wanna have dinner?" he finally asked, taking the proverbial first step. "To talk about the show I mean?"

As much as she wanted to say yes, she knew she had to say no. "I don't think that would be a very good idea."

"Yeah... I guess not... Not right now... But you never know, right?" he chuckled. "Ya didn't say no."

"No I didn't," she responded, chuckling herself.

"Well... I'll let you get back to your eggs and bacon."

"Bagels and lox, actually."

"Ah, a woman after my own heart," he said proudly.

Those words could be taken in many different ways. There didn't seem to be any reason to point that out, she thought.

"Good bye, Mr. Bialystock," she said politely.

"Good bye, Ms. Goldstein," he returned with the most pleasant tone he could muster.

It hadn't gone as terribly as he thought it would.

It had been easier than she expected.

Now it was up to fate.


	4. Reunions

Leo and Ulla Bloom returned. The happy couple immediately noticed the change in their friend, but could not get him to admit what had put the light back into his brown eyes.

The trio sat in their sun-light kitchen, enjoying breakfast together as they so often did.

"You got a haircut," Leo stated, nodding, proud that he had finally figured it out. He took a big gulp of orange juice.

"No, silly," Ulla cooed, rising to her feet and crossing the room to get the toast as it popped from the toaster oven. "Max met a gurl," she said confidently.

The men gasped for different reasons.

"Is it true, Max?" Leo pleaded, his blue eyes wide.

"How'd you guess?" he asked, looking up at the pretty blonde as she carefully put a slice of the warm bread on his plate.

She shrugged her shapely shoulders. "A voman knows dees tings."

Max chuckled. "Yeah, well... that's all you're getting from me," he said, taking a swig of his coffee. "Nothing can come of it, so I don't know why this discussion has to continue."

"She's married?" Leo pressed.

"She's too young. Max is tired of old vemen," Ulla commented, sitting back in her chair and crossing her long, beautiful legs before taking a large bite of pickled herring.

"Is she a high ranking officials daughter?" Leo piped in as he chewed.

Max shook his head. "You two won't quit, will ya?" he mumbled playfully. "She's gonna be in the show." The words just came out of his mouth and he had been powerless to stop them.

"There's always a place in the show for the producers girlfriend," Leo said, turning to Ulla, grinning.

With a snort, Max stood and moved to the front door. "Let's stop talking and get to the theatre. You can interrogate her, too," he snickered, placing his fedora on the top of his head. The sooner they left, the sooner he could see her again.


	5. Dinner at 8?

First of all, a VERY big "Thank you!" to ullabloom for inspiring me :-) I have chosen to dedicate my fic to her because she rocks and is an amazing PRODUCERS fic writer.

Second, I had NO IDEA it had been so long since my last update :-( Wow.

* * *

The trio grabbed a cab and headed over to the St. James Theatre on 44th. They took the time during the ride to arrange the head-shots and resumes. Boys first.

The first few males who had been chosen performed well and ended up in chorus roles. Two were dismissed. One was given the lead, another the sidekick. Three hours had flown by. It was time for lunch before seeing the women.

Part of Ulla's job was to go get lunch. Franz insisted on accompanying her. They decided on Italian from Di Scallo's on 38th.

"So... Vat do u no about dis gurl Maxie has met?" she asked.

Franz shrugged. "I know her name und dat she can sing... Oder dan dat, nichts."

He took a bag from her and shifted the drinks so she could take them.

"Vat does she look like?"

"Dark hair. Big eyes. Jewish," he explained.

"Like a gurl Max?"

"Ya. Like a girl Max," he said. Then he paused mid-step causing Ulla to almost bump into him. "I never taught of dat before..."

Ulla giggled and tossed her head of think blonde curls. They stopped at a corner, waiting to cross. "I hope it vorks out for him... Dis voman better treat him right..."

"I don't know if dare is any vay to be sure of vat vill happen..."

"Vell look at Leo and me. Who knew, right?" she smiled.

Franz snorted, chortling. "Und ver else but in New York could a German und a Sved be friends, yah?"

Ulla laughed and they continued on.

After they ate their generic lasagna and complained about the dry garlic bread, the women started their auditions. One by one, they pretended to be talented. One was cast as the secondary female lead, three were given roles in the chorus. Max happily called out the next name.

"Shiri Goldstien."

He smiled and looked to the left wings.

Silence.

"Ms. Goldstien?" he called out. His brow furrowed. He looked to Leo, then to Franz and then to Ulla. Roger and Carmen stood up and went backstage.

"Shiri. Shiri Goldstien?" Carmen called, delicately parting the curtain at the back of the stage.

"Ms. Goldstien, we do not have all day, darling," Roger called. "We have other things to see and other people to do," he said, peeking around stage right. A young red-head shook her head.

It was a delayed reaction, but Carmen turned and narrowed his eyes at his common-law partner. "Who else do you have to do, Roger?" he asked.

Roger wrinkled his face and waved his hand, as if dismissing any doubt from from his boyfriends mind. "It's a figure of speech, you silly nincompoop," he sighed, winking at him. Carmen smiled and nodded.

Leo and Ulla went to check the lobby and outside on the sidewalk. They came back alone.

"Well... I guess we move on," Max said quietly, scratching his head, glancing one more time around the house of the theatre.

The next girl was given the lead, but it was on pure necessity. She was informed she was on waiver and not signed unless she truly proved herself worthy of the wall.

Once everyone left, happy or sad, the six friends began to pack up.

"I'm sorry, Max," Leo said. He watched his friend hang his head.

"Me too, Leo," he sighed. "I don't understand it," he said, shrugging. "She gave up a huge opportunity."

Ulla laid her hand on his shoulder. "Let's go out for dinner. It vill make you feel better," she declared.

Max nodded.

Later that night, the trio was settled at a table in Studio 54, dressed in their finest.

"What looks good?" Leo asked.

"I tink I vill have the fish," Ulla said proudly. She laid her menu down and adjusted the strap on her white evening gown.

"Sounds good... I want the steak," Leo added, closing his menu.

Max had been absentmindedly staring off into space. The couple looked to their friend and tilted their heads in unison.

Suddenly a loud clatter and shattering of glass came from the left. Someone had slammed into the door leading from the kitchen.

"I'll have the waitress..." he said.

Shiri was crumpled on the the floor and her uniform was covered with someone's expensive food.


	6. A Fine Mess

Max pushed back from the table and hurried to Shiri. She was pleasantly shocked when she looked up to see Max.

"You OK?" he asked, concern in his brown eyes. He reached down and offered his hands. Shiri managed a soft smile as put her hands in his and tried to get to her feet. "Where were you this afternoon?" he blurted out.

"My boss is a slave driver," she confessed quietly, bending to pick up the silverware. "We had two people not show up... I had no choice... I need the money and to keep my job..." she shrugged. Max dropped to his knees and began to scoop the food onto the tray as best he could.

"We cast the show," he said, unable to look up at her. "I'm sorry."

She paused and sighed. "You did what you had to do," she said sadly, "Just like I did," she added, grabbing the tray from him and turning back into the kitchen.

He hung his head. He heard the boss begin berating her and her trying to defend herself. As much as he wanted to, he figured it would be best to stay out of it. Before he could react, the door opened and she fell into him, causing them both to land on the floor... in the rest of the mess.

Ulla and Leo came over to them at this point, smirking and hoping to help.

"You alright, Max?" Leo asked.

"I'm fine," he grumbled, doing his best to hold Shiri in his arms and keep her from hitting the ground.

"Shiri? I'm Ulla... I Max's secretary-slash-receptionist... Dis is my husband, Leo... Max's partner," she offered, taking hold of her arm to assist her off of Max.

There was no more time for pleasantries. Leo and Max lost their balance on the tomato sauce and toppled into the girls with all four of them falling to the floor.

The managers were beside themselves huffing and fussing and the rest of the restaurant was beside themselves with laughter.

The quartet struggled to their feet, gripped onto each other and marched out.

"He fired me! The schmuck fired me!" Shiri cried out.

Max, Leo and Ulla all turned to her at the same time. "Why?" they asked in unison.

"Because that guy opened the door into me and I can't convince him otherwise."

"Vell you just stick wit us," Ulla said, wrapping her arm around her shoulder. "Ve vill help you."

Shiri looked at Max who gave her a warm, closed-mouthed smile, running his hands through his hair.


End file.
